Wow. What a crazy past couple weeks.
It’s looked something like this…
Got home from Florida, got engaged, told everyone, planning a wedding, and still falling deeper in love. Obviously there’s more little details that fit somewhere in there.
Nonetheless, things have been nuts… in the best way possible. I haven’t even had time to blog. What is the world coming to??! 🙂 ha ha.
Wedding plans are looking great. Ordered my dress today, which ended up being a harder decision than I ever thought. Geez. There’s billions to pick from. All with different fabrics, shades of white, fit, skirts, and on and on and on again. I’ve finally picked one and I love it. We are in the process of picking out a place for our reception as well as compiling our guest list. There’s so many little details to be thought of but I am enjoying every single minute of it. I am a bride and I’ll only be one for the next 4 months. There’s only once that I will get to be overwhelmed about the smallest details that I will never care about again in my life. It feels great!
It’s a little surreal to be in this place though, I do I have to say. I really don’t think it’s sunk in quite yet. I find myself staring at the ring on my finger, that is worth far more than anything I’ve ever owned, and I just smile. I can’t believe I’m here. The place I have thought about over and over since I was small. Not just in a “I can’t wait for my wedding day” kind of way… more in a “I can’t wait to fall in love” kind of way. The ring is a reminder of the one guy who is meant for me and how much he truly does love me. It’s a reminder of a commitment that I will be making that will last a lifetime. It’s a reminder of my worth. It’s a reminder of all things good happening right now.
I was looking back in my journal and studying past verses that I really felt like spoke to me. I noticed a common theme… most were about relationships, love, or fear. I was struggling with surrendering my all to God because of past hurts that wouldn’t so easily go away. I had been mistreated, used, emotionally abused, and scarred from past relationships. I was left thinking, “are there really any good guys out there?” With culture being the way it is with girls flaunting themselves all over, morals being disregarded, and truth being shut down, I was sure that there would never be a way that I would find (or deserve) someone set apart from the world. In my mind, I wasn’t good enough to be with someone of high character and I convinced myself that too many guys were drowning in their own sin.
Little did I know, now looking back, that all those emotional journals of crying out to God to take my heart and to heal it were God’s way of preparing me for this moment. He had my heart that entire time, comforting it, restoring it, and filling it! Thank you, Jesus!
There really was no reason to fear.
God’s best really IS best. It’s hard to trust that sometimes, but He only wants the best for us and will provide that in His timing. It just takes patience to see the fruits of it.
Now, as God promised, I was able to perservere under trial and become more refined. In HIS own timing, I now see God’s best day after day in my relationship with Will. It couldn’t be any better even if I dreamed it up in some far away place. It’s perfect. Although I know that things won’t always be necessarily “easy” in our relationship, I know that he is the one that the Lord has chosen just for me and, because of that, I can have peace. It was when I gave up my own plans and finally cried out to the Lord “I need you!” that He provided everything that my heart desired.
So, that’s all I have to say about that. I feel SO blessed and SO honored to be where I am sharing my life with Will.
Just for entertainment purposes, and simply to talk up Will some more, this is the “Future Husband” list that I made prior to Will and DID NOT compromise on under any circumstances.
I quickly saw that Will had every one of these characteristics and more (and I can tell you that now that we are engaged and I no longer have to use this stupid list) 🙂
Some are obviously of higher importance than the others, and some you may laugh at, but I had to be specific here. If you knew the losers that I dated before Will, you would understand why.
I won’t call the list “Future Husband” anymore. It’s now called “William”…. 🙂
-Loves the Lord and shows through his actions
-Opens up about past
-Confident- not arrogant
-Not afraid of commitment
-Knows what he wants out of life and is driven to do it
-Won’t compromise on his values
-Will support me in my God-given passions/talents
-Challenges me in my faith
-Can lead a relationship physically and emotionally
-Doesn’t care too much about his looks or mine
-Wants to reach out to missions
-Doesn’t have to live in one place his whole life
-Doesn’t drink alcohol
-Is ok with just hanging out– doesn’t have to go out to have fun
-Understands my humor
-Makes me feel comfortable around him
-Respects that I’m saving myself for marriage and is also saving himself for marriage
-Has a family that believes in Christ
-Independent from his parents
-Has an appreciation for music
-Likes style/looking nice
-Doesn’t ever avoid my family
-Respects my feelings and emotions
-Will NEVER put me down
-Doesn’t support abortion and wants to do something to stop it
-Has a passionate spirit to change the world by serving Jesus
-Embraces the gifts of the Holy Spirit
-A natural leader
-Consistently seeking God’s best in his life
-Not afraid of change
-Is willing to do whatever it takes to separate himself from culture/the world
….if you know Will, you will probably agree that this list is dead on for him.
He pleasantly surprises me more and more every day. What a keeper.