If anyone is paying attention to the time that I’m writing this blog you may think to yourself, “what is this crazy woman doing writing a blog at 6 AM on a weekend?” — yeah I’m wondering that, too. In fact, I have actually been up since about 3 AM. It’s been an interesting night, to say the least.
Ever since Kirk Bennett prophesied over me that I would be seeing dreams and visions soon and that they would be in the times when I’m half awake and half asleep, I knew I was in for something. When I talked to Kirk later, he reassured me to make sure to ask God what my dreams meant if I did have them. He writes books and series on how to interpret dreams and what not (speaking of which, I need to buy one of those!).
Anyway, I’m going to be honest with you and say that I’ve been a little hesitant to pray the prayer, “God, speak to me while I’m sleeping”…. I’m not sure why. Will and I were just talking last night after church about how Kirk was talking about allowing the nighttime to be a time when your spirit gets to speak with God without your flesh getting in the way. Letting it be a time of rejuvenation for your spirit since it never sleeps.
Well, I prayed that prayer before I fell asleep last night at about 11 PM. I finally said, “OK God, I’m ready for you to talk to me”…and He did.
I’m not really sure why I’m putting this up for the whole world to see, but I sort of would like prayer from my close friends and family (because I’m pretty sure that’s all who reads this). Even just prayer that I don’t get fearful.
So, let me preface by saying that I stopped drinking caffeine about a week ago, mainly because I know it interferes with my sleep and I wanted to be rested. So, I know this isn’t a product of that. Also, I woke up at 3 AM with cramps (sorry if that’s too much information), and I couldn’t fall asleep because of the pain. FINALLY, I fell asleep at around 4 AM and that’s when I had this dream. I really was half awake and half asleep.
I know this may seem crazy to people who may not understand everything I’m talking about, but for those of you who are in the same boat and on the same roller coaster that I’m on… you’ll understand the craziness of this whole spiritual battle that I feel like I’m in.
This is exactly what I wrote in my journal when I woke up from the dream. God kept telling me to get out of bed, grab my Bible, and write it down so I wouldn’t forget it…
I was laying in my bed at the exact time and place that I was actually in. I couldn’t tell if it was reality of not. In my dream I heard scary voices all around me trying to tell me that I wouldn’t win. I heard a specific voice say, “you can’t have them, Laura”. I have never heard voices sound so intimidating and have never heard a tone like that. In my dream, when I heard the voices, I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed and saw black figures everywhere. They didn’t look like people, they looked like scribbles all over my room. My initial reaction was to say, “In the name of Jesus, you MUST leave this room” but right when I tried to say it my mouth wouldn’t open. It felt like it was being held shut. I still managed to get it out with a mumble and bright white flooded my room. All the white surrounded the black and in an instant, they were gone. I got under my sheets, so scared at what had happened. I saw more black under my sheets and that’s when I woke up. I had to ask God immediately if it was real because everything in the dream matched exactly where I was at the time. I even had cramps in my dream. For some reason, while all the black was in my room, I couldn’t stop singing the song “My Glorious”. I got out of my bed (in the dream), and walked outside my room and my parents were sleeping on my couch and I told them what had happened. They prayed for me.
I asked God, when I woke up, what this dream meant and He told me to write this down. Mind you, this was after a few minutes of wondering what had just happened and wondering where I was.
“Laura, youre in a fight. I wanted to show you the reality of it. Satan is trying to scare you. He is seeing you as a threat because of the passion I put inside of you to stop the killing of babies. He thinks he’s winning right now but he’s not. He wants you to think that you don’t have a voice and that you can’t make a difference. You are underrated, but I want to use you. Don’t be fearful. Even when it’s dark around you. My name is your fortress. Even when they’ve tied your lips and your hands, remember that my name still stands strong. Don’t let your initial reaction be to hide (under your sheets). When you do, because of fear, you are letting satan in to scare you. This may seem like a scary time but remember that it’s not you doing this but Me using you for my will. Even when the entire human race turns against you, you still have the God of the universe on your side. Your parents are your intercessors. They pray for you that you will be strong and not fearful.”
After writing that down, I went and got my Bible because I kept feeling like I needed to read Isaiah. I opened it to Isaiah 28 and this is what it said:
“‘I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic. I will make justice the measuring line and righteousness the plumb line; hail will sweep away your refuge, the lie, and water will overflow your hiding place. When the overwhelming scourge sweeps by, you will be beaten down by it. As often as it comes it will carry you away; morning after morning, by day and by night, it will sweep through.’ The understanding of this message will bring sheer terror. The bed is too short to stretch out on, the blanket too narrow to wrap around you. The Lord will rise up to do His work, His strange work, and perform His task, His alien work.”
That verse was proof, in itself, that I’m not going crazy 🙂
I woke up from the dream crying because I’ve never experienced anything like that before. And now, here I am writing about it because I think it’s important that I remember it. I know some of you may be thinking, ” What the heck is this crazy woman talking about?”…but that’s the point I think. No one else needs to understand what God’s dealing with me on. He’s got my back. Even when the world may tell me I’m crazy.
I love how God even pointed out to me in His word that I won’t even have my bed or my sheets to hide under to keep me safe. Eventually, I will have no other refuge but in the Lord. No other places to hide.
All this to say that I would love your prayers of protection and prayers to not be fearful. To constantly make the Lord my refuge when the world turns against me.